|
|
Post by Dandy Dan on Mar 31, 2006 16:10:12 GMT -5
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
|
|
|
|
Post by Kami no Chiizu on Mar 31, 2006 22:27:06 GMT -5
That's pretty good. Did you hear about the new technology allowing plastic surgeons to put computer chips for music storage in women's breast implants? It seems women are always complaining about men looking at their breasts and not listening to them.  |
|
|
|
Post by tedsmini on Apr 4, 2006 12:39:54 GMT -5
Thought the punch line would be that the successful guy wouldn't be killed outright: but slowly simmered as he was already stuffed like a christmas goose  |
|
|
|
Post by Kami no Chiizu on Apr 5, 2006 22:54:31 GMT -5
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
No?
Then please don't use my bathroom.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kami no Chiizu on Apr 17, 2006 20:36:29 GMT -5
That slowed this page down too much.
|
|
suprtek
Ruckster
My wife thinks my Ruckus was a "sacrifice"!
Posts: 273
|
Post by suprtek on May 23, 2006 21:46:52 GMT -5
There was a man that worked for many years at a pickle factory. One day he came home and told his wife he got fired for putting his "unit" in the pickle slicer." Oh no!" She said as she pulled off his pants to see. To her surprise, she found him still intact. "I don't understand....Is the pickle slicer not working?" "Not anymore" he replied. "She got fired too."
|
|
|
|
Post by Kami no Chiizu on May 23, 2006 23:36:34 GMT -5
I've heard that one, it's been a while, but it's still good.
|
|
|
|
Post by Dandy Dan on May 24, 2006 8:45:05 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Kami no Chiizu on May 24, 2006 13:45:45 GMT -5
I don't think those pics would fly on a family friendly board like this. |
|
|
|
Post by Dandy Dan on May 24, 2006 13:50:25 GMT -5
I don't think those pics would fly on a family friendly board like this. Oops  I meant to give the ;D not the  |
|
suprtek
Ruckster
My wife thinks my Ruckus was a "sacrifice"!
Posts: 273
|
Post by suprtek on May 24, 2006 15:53:47 GMT -5
Had me wondering for a minute there Dan.
|
|
suprtek
Ruckster
My wife thinks my Ruckus was a "sacrifice"!
Posts: 273
|
Post by suprtek on May 24, 2006 17:40:14 GMT -5
I've heard that one, it's been a while, but it's still good. Ok Kami, have you heard this one? Two strangers, a man and a woman, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they are tired and fall asleep quickly—he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1 A.M., the man leans over and gently wakes the woman and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," the woman replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaims. "Good," she replies. "Now, get your own damn blanket!" |
|
|
|
Post by Kami no Chiizu on May 25, 2006 1:03:22 GMT -5
Hadn't heard it, but saw where it was going. ;D
I'd tell some more jokes, but I can't think of any clean ones at the moment.
|
|
suprtek
Ruckster
My wife thinks my Ruckus was a "sacrifice"!
Posts: 273
|
Post by suprtek on May 25, 2006 12:56:08 GMT -5
Hadn't heard it, but saw where it was going. ;D I'd tell some more jokes, but I can't think of any clean ones at the moment. Well I guess I got shot down again. I come up with a good one eventually. |
|
suprtek
Ruckster
My wife thinks my Ruckus was a "sacrifice"!
Posts: 273
|
Post by suprtek on May 28, 2006 16:38:23 GMT -5
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital
donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood.
They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to
donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and
they chatted some more before going their
separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman
meet again at the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed)
"Unh unh."
|
|
|
|
Post by Kami no Chiizu on May 28, 2006 20:37:16 GMT -5
I'm not going to comment on that one. But I will say this:
A woman was in a rush to get home from seeing her family, when she got pulled over for speeding. The policeman walked up to her door, and asked her if she knew why he pulled her over.
"Is it to give me a ticket to the Policeman's Ball?"
"No, m'am, Policemen don't have Balls."
(not to put down any fine law enforcement people who might be around)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Post by Kami no Chiizu on May 28, 2006 20:50:59 GMT -5
Yeah, that one's been around.
You know how to tell a baptist and a methodist apart?
A methodist'll talk to you at the liquor store.
|
|
suprtek
Ruckster
My wife thinks my Ruckus was a "sacrifice"!
Posts: 273
|
Post by suprtek on May 28, 2006 20:56:53 GMT -5
Is this a joke or a paradox?
Good judgement comes from experience....which usually comes from bad judgement..
|
|
|
|
Post by Kami no Chiizu on May 28, 2006 21:03:21 GMT -5
Keri says it's the truth.
I didn't know Ron Killings was up in here...
|
|
